Survivor Farm For Newies and co
by AthenaHunteress
Summary: SURVIVOR FARM FOR NEWSIES!Mwahaha.I had an evil idea.let it come to life!MWahaha
1. Part one.

~!~Newie Survivor!~!~  
  
(AN:Jaws music)  
  
Blink,David,Mush,Race,Les,Denton,Medda and Morris and Spot sit around chewing tobacco.  
  
They all have been picked for Suvivor Farm.(AN:Hehe.Im evil.I know.Wahaha).Suddently  
  
Mr.Kloppman ,the cheesy host, walks over to them."Hello!And welcome to survivor Far.Spot  
  
stop shooting me dirty looks.Morris stop looking at my butt."Morris drops over dead."Well  
  
thats one down.Wheres Sarah and Jack?"  
  
"Havent seen 'em."said Blink before looking behide the barn and coming out looking sick.  
  
"Nope havent seen 'em."  
  
Mr.Kloppman sighed "There back there again?We've only been filming 2 weeks!"  
  
Jack staggers out from behind the barn with messy clothes(AN:All his clothes)  
  
and lip stick all over his face.Next came Sarah,with tousseled hair and straw stuck to her body.  
  
"Jack what did I tell you about making out with people you will have top vote off the island."  
  
"And Now for our first voting off the farm."Mr.Kloppman said.Everyone groaned except Spot.  
  
"Anyone vote me off Ill soak em!"  
  
Everyone started writing quickly.  
  
Jack:Medda  
  
Blink:Medda  
  
Race:Medda  
  
Denton:Medda!!  
  
Mush:(Cant spell)  
  
Les:David  
  
David:Les(AN:bad family)  
  
Sarah(after looking over her shoulder):Jack!He cant do anything right.  
  
Morris:Medda  
  
Mr.Kloppman read the answers and when it was found out Medda was voted off , Blink whispered  
  
to Mush "She was lookin at mes butt weird."  
  
Mushs eyes widen and he whispered to Race ,who was taking bets on who would be voted of next,  
  
"Tooooooo much info."  
  
Race looks up, confused."Wha?"  
  
Mush rolled his eyes and put a marble in his slingshot and aimed at Dentons groin.He fired.  
  
Denton doubled over in pain and finally managed to squeak out in a high prissy voice.  
  
"Ow!Mommy they hurt me."  
  
Medda smirked before leaving in a ton of pink and purple ruffles.Spot smiled evily.  
  
(AN:R AND R!R AND R!OR YOU WILL HAVE A MOB AT YOUR HOUSE AND BAD LUCK TOO!Thank You And Have A Nice Day.) 


	2. Part Two

~!~!~!Newie Survivor.Part Two.~!~!~!  
  
Mr.Kloppman looked around.  
  
"OK jobs are this:Spot-gathering eggs Sarah-cleaning Mush-sewing Race- Sweeping Jack-washing clothes Denton-Milking Blink-Help Sarah David- Cleaning Stables Les-Stand there.Any questions?"  
  
David asked "Why do I get the crumy job?"  
  
"Because we don't like you.Any OTHER questions?"  
  
No body said anything and began their jobs  
  
Spot grumbled and went to the chicken coops.He began picking up the eggs.  
  
"Why me?Why me?Ill kill em!Ill soak em!"  
  
Spot looked at the eggs and smirked evily "I wonder…"  
  
Spot grinned and walked over to Jack "Oh Jacky Boy….."  
  
Jack made a face and ignored Spot.Spot looked pissed and shoved broken eggs down Jacks pants.That made Jack sit up.He's eyes went wide and he looked at Spot.  
  
"Ewwwww!!!"  
  
Sarah walked over and began laughing uncontrolably.  
  
David heared Jack scream and shruged.He waded back into the horse poop and began mucking out again.  
  
"How much can one horse go?"  
  
A big muscurler horse walked up.David looked up and screamed.He began to run as fast as he could.The horse galloped after him."Help!!"David yelled.  
  
Racie looked over at him and asked Mr.Kloppman if they could vote now.  
  
Mr.Kloppman nodded and yelled for everyone to vote.  
  
Jack voted Sarah for laughing uncontrolably  
  
Mush didn't vote(cant spell)  
  
Racie voted Jack  
  
David voted Sarah  
  
Blink voted Jack  
  
Denton voted Denton.  
  
Mr.Kloppman looked confused and asked where Spots vote was.They all began looking and found Spot gathering more eggs  
  
Spot said "One for me,One to throw,One for me One to throw One for me One to throw.2 for me ten to throw…"He looked up at them and began giggling uncontrobably.They all figured Spot and had a long day.  
  
Mr.Kloppman asked who Spot voted for.Spot grinned evily and voted….  
  
SARAH!  
  
Sarah went over to Spot and kicked him in the groin.Spot paled and cringed then paled then passed out.Sarah smiled and said "Thank god Im off this ugly farm.I think I broke a nail."  
  
R&R!!!!Thanks for you all who have ready reveiwed. 


	3. Part Three

~!~Survivor Farm For Newies~!~  
  
Mr.Kloppman looked around and told Racie and Blink to switch jobs.  
  
Racie handed Blink the broom and began cleaning.Blink took the broom and began sweeping all the dirt and crap into Jacks bed.He smiled and dumped all the crap in jacks bed and pulled a blanket over it.He smiled evily.  
  
Later that night Denton was making food, aka food poisoning everyone.Jack gulped down the food and went to bed.And about 10 minutes later Jack was food asleep and Blink snuck into his room and took a picture of Jack hugging the biggest dirt clot/dust bunny.  
  
The next day Jack found out and was furious.Mush was smirking the whole day and Spot and Racie were hysterical.Denton was to busy complaining about how he couldn't work because he was pregant.(AN:HEHE!).Mr.Kloppman sighed and asked if they wanted to take a vote.  
  
Jack voted Blink  
  
Mush didn't vote  
  
Denton voted Denton  
  
Les voted David  
  
David voted Les  
  
Spot voted Denton  
  
Racie voted Denton  
  
Denton was hyperactive with joy and began dancing with Spot.Spot was very confused and was even MORE confused when Denton began dancing with him.Spot pushed Denton away and Denton began to cry.  
  
"Spot…You said you loved me.."  
  
Spot raised an eyebrow and pulled off dentons mask to show a ..a…girl!  
  
Everyone fainted.Mr.Kloppman stared and then told Denton/Dentonina to get out. 


	4. Part Four

~!~Survivor Farm For Da Newies~!~  
  
  
  
Blink,Race,Jack,Spot,Les,David and Mr.Kloppman sat in the pouring rain and they all  
  
scowled at Mr.Kloppman who had an umbrella.He was also eatting an apple and they  
  
were eating poison.Yes Jack was cooking.  
  
"What do ya says wes kill de old man and take da apple?"Spot suggested.  
  
They all grinned evily and crept up behind Mr.Kloppman who began to run.  
  
"FOLLOW 'IM!"Spot yelled.  
  
They all chased Mr.Kloppman until they came to a ledge.Mr.Kloppman stopped and then  
  
he was 'accidently' pushed off a convienently placed cliff.They all took the apple that  
  
had been on the ground and Jack cut it up.He handed slices to everyone.They all quickly  
  
ate them.Just then a Black Rider rode up.  
  
"Oi mistah yous got an umbrellah?"  
  
The black rider nodded and took out a hot pink umbrella.  
  
"I got it from Hagrid.Don't you think it matchs my red eyes?"  
  
"Demonic red clashs hot pink."  
  
The black rider began to cry and sucked his thumb."You all are so  
  
mean!!!WAAA!Mommy!!!!!"  
  
Another rider rode up.  
  
"Bbbbagggggggggggiiiiinnnnnnnssssss…..Sssssshhhhhiiiiirrrrrreeeee…….Ffffrrro oodddoooo…"  
  
They all shook their heads "Next set.Sorrah."The Two black riders rode off and they all went back to eating their poison.  
  
Suddently a loud voice yelled."OK WHO KILLED THE OLD MAN?"  
  
Spot looked at the others and then said in a teeny tiny voice "Mommy?"  
  
"NO I AM NOT YOUR BLOODY MOTHER YOU LITTLE MOTH BALL FULL OF CRAP!"  
  
Spot muttered "Dork."  
  
"Bum."  
  
"Idiot."  
  
"Stupid cow."  
  
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"Yelled Les.That made everyone stop even Jack who was gulping aspin and Race who was doing drugs.  
  
Suddently a cheesy host popped out of no where.  
  
"Want to take a vote?"  
  
They all nodded and pointed to Spot not wanting to get fried by the Almighty Women.  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT YOU MEASLY LITTLE……MEN!"  
  
Spot scowled at them all and they all grinned and walked away whistling.  
  
  
  
  
  
(AN:DON'T FLAME ME!PLEASE!!!!!WAA!) 


	5. Part Five

Hullo and welcome to Newies Survivor Farm!Where real terror comes to life.Fun!  
  
Blink,Race,Mush,David,Les and Jack sat around a chicken coupwatching it hungrily.Their mission was to find a chicken,make it have an egg then eat it.Theses boy being as stupid as they are..picked the rooster.  
  
Suddently the funky host appeared and looked at the rooster and sighed trying not to cry.The funky host walked over to the boys.  
  
"Boys…Newies…Idiots..Let us think about this.If you have a man and a woman who gives birth?"  
  
"O o o I know!"yelled Les.  
  
"Anyone else?"  
  
silence.  
  
"Fine then Les."  
  
"The man!"  
  
The funky host gave up and began to cry.David fell off his chair and layed on the ground,stunned.He got up.  
  
Race walked over to Les.He wrapped an arm around Les.  
  
"Les…Is dink its toime foah ya ta know about da biords and the biees."  
  
Race and Les walked away with Racie telling Les things.David watched the two and sighed.He hoped Racie wouldn't teach Les to be vulgar.That was his job.  
  
Meanwhile Jack was trying to make the rooster lay an egg.Not very well.Then David walked over to Jack.  
  
"Hey that's not a chicken!"  
  
"Yes it is!Its justa pretty chikn."  
  
David sighed "It's a rooster."  
  
"Oooooo."  
  
They looked around for a chicken and then noticed Mush and Blink eating something.They jogged over to them and asked what they were eating.Mush began to choke and Blink kicked him.Blink smiled innocently.  
  
"Nothin."  
  
"Liarahs!"  
  
Blink gave a nervouse laugh and showed him some chicken bones.Jack yelled.  
  
"Awwwww yous were eatin a chickn!"  
  
Blink kicked him in the groin.  
  
The host appeared."Voting time."  
  
Blink-Jack  
  
Jack-Blink  
  
Race-David for not telling Les  
  
Les-Race (vulgar)  
  
Mush-Blink.  
  
Blink got dragged off my guards.They all clapped.  
  
  
  
~Sorry for short story just no one reviews or reads my stuff so whats the point?~  
  
~~Oh and I got suspended~~ 


	6. Part Six

Doesn't know who ta vote off! Waaaa! ::gets idea and grins evilly::)  
  
  
  
  
  
Mush, Jack, Les, David and Race sat looking at each other. It had been five days since Blink had been kicked off. The funky host had appeared and spray them in rose perfume (the yucky kind) and put them in Pink fluffy dresses with frills and lace and had taken picture. They had taken the dresses off to find they had no other clothes. So they became like Adam and Eve only they were all Adams. Yes they were in fig leaves.  
  
David got up and walked to a small rock and sat on it. No sooner had he sat down that he began running back to the others yelling at the top of his lungs. Jack looked up and began laughing, because David had sat on a porcupine. He was running around with a ton of needles in his butt and finally Race kicked the porcupine and made a face and the porcupine ran like hell.  
  
Mush walked over to David and yanked out a fistful of the needles.David yelled in surprise and pain and sat down and rubbed his sore behind.(AN:I have a friend who would yell 'Hell yea baby Let me rub that little cupcake!'I think David would be scarred for like so I'm not adding it)  
  
Race began walking a in a forest that suddenly appeared.(AN:I dunno.)He looked around and then notice a pretty skunk.He lunged at it and the skunk calmly turned around and sprayed Race.Race yelled and the others same running.They stopped when the smelled and saw Race.  
  
Jack: *sniff sniff* 'Whoa what is da unpleasant aroma?Is fear da sewwer musta backed up durin da night!'  
  
Race: *yelling incoherent obsenties.*  
  
Mush:Ya know Jack its not nice makin fun of sum1 who smells bettah den ya.  
  
(AN: Cold.. I am sooo Cold.)  
  
Jack sneered at Mush who laughed and said : ' Ise tink wes should leave the stink bomb. Wes alreadah gots Jack.'  
  
(AN: Evil.)  
  
David grinned (An: He's soo cute (that's my friend) ) and Les helped Race up even thou he had told him some rude things about 'da biords and da bees'. He lead Race to a big river and pushed Race in and threw some soap at him. Race coughed up some water and began pulling his clothes off. (AN: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ) .  
  
Race rinsed and then noticed that Mush was watching him with big-eyes- widen-mouth-on-the-floor. Race looked down and eyes widened. Mush was starring at his…* cough cough *…tinkler( unedited: ass fornt ways around).Race got out and began chasing Mush even thou Race was nude.(An:Bad thoughts…Bbbbbbaaaaaddddddd thoughts)  
  
Jack found this very amusing and began video taping it.(An: I dun care there we no videos), because he was going to sell it to my friend , Ashi.  
  
Les smirked slightly. The funky, hippy , ugly , fat, tiny, thingie host appeared.  
  
'Who wants to vote?'  
  
Everyone nodded and yelled 'MES! ' 'Cept David and Les.  
  
Jack-Mush  
  
Race-Mush  
  
Les- Race  
  
David-Mush  
  
Mush- Jack(AN: Damn he smelled.)  
  
MUSH WENT BYE BYE! MUSH WENT BYE BYE!R AND R AND R AND R! 


End file.
